Feeling you’ve been thrown into the new year before you’ve made any resolutions to guide you?
Yep, me too. And a whole lot of other people, I’ll bet.
No reason to feel guilty, though. For months now, we’ve struggled to keep our footing as waves of fear, uncertainty and conflict crash down on us. Is it any wonder we’re hesitant to make plans for the future when the present still feels so weird?
Thinking about all of this, I’ve decided that 2022 is a great time to give up traditional new year’s resolutions and replace them with positive, realistic intentions instead.
I recently shared my thoughts on this subject in The Mighty, an online health and wellness community. Here are some of the reasons I feel intentions can serve all us better, especially in turbulent times.
Let’s say you want to get physically fit -- a resolution that millions of us make every January, only to lose sight of it within weeks.
Why does this happen? I can think of a few possibilities.
Resolutions often come from a negative place. With our fitness example, you might begin by thinking, “I really hate how my body looks and feels right now.” Or “I’ve been overweight for years.” Or “I’ve been so lazy about working out.” You’re criticizing yourself from the get-go, focusing on dislike and distrust — NOT a great foundation for positive change.
Resolutions can be too rigid or too vague. For instance, if you resolve to hit the gym 3 days a week, what will happen the first few times you miss your workout? Or, if you go the other direction and resolve simply to “get in shape,” how will you hold yourself accountable and chart your improvement?
Intentions help us avoid all of these discouraging traps. They begin with a vision of what we DO want, not guilt or anger over what we believe we don’t yet have.
Intentions are also worded in the present tense, giving us the sense that we’re already well on our way to the life we want.
Reshaping our fitness resolution into a series of mutually supportive intentions shows how powerfully this can work.
“I make physical and mental health a priority, choosing forms of exercise that I find fun and rewarding so I’ll do them often.”
“I eat healthful foods in moderation, treating myself now and then so I don’t feel deprived.”
“I build strength and flexibility, feeling pride in my progress.”
Some people prefer to begin each intention with the phrase, “I intend to …”, which feels like an explicit promise to devote time and energy to the changes they want to see. You can experiment with different phrases and approaches to see which ones feel most authentic and motivating for you.
How will you know you’re on the right track with your new intentions? When I was putting mine together, I noticed that:
I felt excited about the life I was describing.
My intentions were clear and specific, meaning I could hold myself accountable.
The life I was describing felt believable. I chose words that weren’t too flowery, sweet, or lofty, yet each intention felt positive and encouraging.
My intentions could easily be reworked if circumstances changed. For instance, if an economic downturn keeps me from expanding my client base this year, I can shift my focus to preparing for growth when conditions shift.
Best of all, I noticed that my intentions didn’t contain even a trace of guilt, shame or regret. This felt amazing and new, something I’d never experienced while trying to map out new year’s resolutions in the past.
Knowing I can be impatient and perfectionistic, I also put together a wrap-around intention to protect me from feeling disappointed along the way: “When I’m discouraged, I remind myself that setbacks and failures are part of my progress. I seek out and celebrate the imperfectly wonderful.”
If you’d like to try your hand at writing a few intentions of your own, take a look at this excellent list of sample intentions. And here’s an article filled with thoughtful suggestions for guiding yourself through the uncertainty I’m pretty sure we will all face in 2022.
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A version of this post appeared in The Mighty, an online publication for people living with chronic health conditions.